Wow, I am one old lady

Last weekend was my Christmas Present weekend! My sweet husband surprised me with a wonderful note, two tickets to see Wicked and reservations at a hotel.

Old lady clue 1: When I looked at the hotel confirmation, I noticed it was for Friday and Saturday night. My response? Well why did you get 2 nights?! The show is Saturday, so we'll just go up Sat. and spend that night, then come home! Duh. Fun getaway.

He convinced me to go up for the whole weekend, so we wouldn't be rushed trying to get up there Sat and get ready for the show. So we head out after his Friday meetings are over. I cannot remember the last time it was just the two of us. Probably our honeymoon, but he ate some Mexican sushi, so he spent more time hanging out with the porcelain goddess than me. Every other time we've gone away, it's been with friends.

Anyway, I spend the car trip trying to change the radio to talk radio (old lady clue 2) while hubs can sing along to almost every song on 20 on 20 (old lady clue 3). Even to the point where I dispute a lyric that I swear he has made up, so I googled it on my phone to prove him wrong (old lady clue 4) but nope, he was right, I was wrong.

We get to the windy city, check in to the hotel where they have us down as celebrating our anniversary (ok, we'll roll with it) and I am guessing they slurred the notes, because hubs has a rewards thing and is a silver member, but they squished silver and anniversary, leading the sweet little check-in gal to say, "Oh! You are celebrating your silver anniversary. Is that 20 or 25 years?" Yup. We got married at 2 and 7. Our parents were cool with it (and that would be old lady clue 5 because I don't think she really got the fact that there was NO way we could have been married that long).

We head out to explore the city and look for something to eat. We stop in a wine bar to warm up, and would have eaten there, but we just had Italian the night before, so we keep moving, slushing through snow, and sludge. H spots a "cool bar" so we run across the street to see what they have to eat. I'm hungry so we put our name on the list and head to the bar. Good grief it's dark in here. And loud. Ah! I've turned into my father.

We had really good intentions of eating and heading to a piano bar, but after sitting at our table, I said I thought I was too tired to enjoy it and maybe we should just head back to the hotel after we eat. Oh, well, look at the time! It's 9:15. (Old lady 6). After a really yummy dinner, we shivered back to the hotel. I turned on the news (old lady 7) and hopped into bed, but in my old-lady defense, the old man was snoring before I could set the sleep timer.

It's Saturday, and we are in a hotel room without kids which means I can sleep in until... 6:30. Seriously?!?! Ugh. I have to laugh because as we were getting ready to leave, H looked out the window and said, "There is NO ONE on the streets today." They were all probably sleeping in. We have breakfast and start walking around ready to shop and do nothing and not be held down by potty breaks and snack time. So where do we go? The Disney Store. Nothing but kids' stuff and I just ended a 2+ year with the Mouse AND we have a Disney Store about 7 miles away from our house. But we go in anyway (old lady, ugh I've lost count. I guess that makes a double old lady). We did have a really fun day, and I didn't have to cut any one's meat. It was fun.

We go back and start getting ready for the big night. I was able to find an AH-mazing dress, but because I've had two kids, I can't just throw it on and go, so I have this little black girdle to wear under my little black dress. It holds in everything below your collar bone and above your knee in what can only be described as a bra meets biker shorts. Delightful. And because it's cold, I bought my first pair of hose in I don't know how long. At some point, my thoughtful husband asks, "How are you going to pee tonight?" and my response is, "I'm just not." I had already decided I wouldn't have a lot of water and would just wait. That plan went out the window sometime during "One Short Day."

I debated slipping out early and going to the bathroom while no one was in there because obviously, the only way to go would be to take off everything in a bathroom stall and I knew there would be a line...and that little crack where the door meets the wall part that locks. And no one needs to see that. BUT, I was too into the show, so as soon as Elphaba took off, so did I. And I was right, there was a line. But, there was also an attendant showing people where to go. Literally. And where is my lucky stall? Right where the line is waiting for open stalls. Ugh.

I get in, hang up my cute red dress jacket and start channeling my inner Nugget. Surely a kid who can pull off a diaper while wearing overalls had to inherit that talent from someone, and I've changed from school clothes to ballet tights and a leotard in a car, so I could do this. And I did. Unfortunately, I couldn't get back in to everything. Fearing that if I actually unzipped my dress, I wouldn't be able to get it zipped back up, I hoisted my girdle up under my skirt as best I could and put my jacket back on. I then did the "my old lady girdle bra is somewhere around my belly button" shuffle back to my seat where my sweet spouse was anxious to hear how I pulled it off which of course I hadn't been able to, so I had to share my all time favorite story about getting stuck in my sports bra in the locker room of health central. That was a classic. I enjoy the second act with my muffin top supported by underwire and we catch a cab back to the hotel.

We are ready to go back home the next day, but not after stopping by Land of Nod to look at big boy room stuff for Nugget. You can take the kids away from the parents, but you just can't take the parents out of the parents, I guess.