Friday, August 13, 2010

Medi week: day one

First up was the spine doc.

I specifically wore pants and a shirt so he could have full access to my spine, however when the nurse led me to exam room 3 (after weighing me and asking, "Is that normal for you??" What's that supposed to mean!?), she instructed me to strip down and put on the gown. I immediatly second guessed my underwear choice that day.

We go through all the medical history and then he starts pulling my legs and poking me in the back. He then tells me to flip onto my stomach and point to where the pain is. I tell him that it's super low in my back, almost in my hips/pelvis area. So he starts poking around.


He then pushes really hard on my left butt cheek and POP!

Please do not tell me that I have been shuffling around for a month, cracked out on vicodin (not Valium, thank you!) and in pain when all I needed was for someone to crack my butt.

Thankfully, the pain was still there when I stood up, although I had already planned to fake it through the rest of the appointment. The x-ray tech came in to snap some pictures, then it was back to my little room to wait. The doc came in and pulled up my photo shoot on his computer (I kind of miss the old-school films on the backlit wall). He then points out the curving of my spine.

Do you have scoliosis?

Doc, WHY are ASKING me this? First, shouldn't it be, "Oh! You have scoliosis." And second, don't you think I would have mentioned that in my medical history? Going to the spine doctor and having scoliosis would be something to note over having tubes in my ears and an appendectomy, don't ya think?

I told him I had never been diagnosed with scoliosis (but immediately flashed back to middle school when I carried a 45 lb (yes, we weighed it) book bag on one shoulder because it was "cool." Here's to hoping curved spines are all the rage soon).

He decided my pain was probably something with a disc and prescribed flector patches for inflammation and physical therapy.

Me: Great! So physical therapy should get me back to normal.
Doc: Well at least functioning. And this will probably come back.
Me: Uhmmm, great?
Doc: Yeah
Me: oh, and about this curved spine, scoliosis thing? Anything to be concerned about?
Doc: Nah.
Me: unless I notice I'm standing, leaning to the left a lot?
Doc: Yeah, then we'd need to look into it.
Me: So scoliosis isn't a big deal?
Doc: no, your not really growing anymore. I'll tell the physical therapist to look into it when she works with you.
Me: great?

And on that note, I'll leave you with a video that a friend posted on my facebook wall in honor of me falling apart (excuse the ad at the beginning and mild, foul language). Enjoy!

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