Take my privacy

Nugget has funny phrases.

Yes her do!

Here my mam!

And my all time favorite?

Take my privacy!

I think he's heard Strip say, "Give me my privacy," when she goes to the bathroom and just Nugget-ized it. So now, when he's using the bathroom, or wants to be alone, he says, "Take my privacy!"

Anyway, today, Neighbor Chick and I were hanging out with the kiddos after the bus dropped off. All the kids were outside playing except her napping baby. At one point, Nugget walked up on the porch and was going to head into the house. I stopped him.

Me: Oh no, buddy, you can't go in there.

Nugget: I gotta go to tha bathroom.

Me: ok, we'll go home (a whopping 40 yards).

Nugget: No, I gots ta poop. I go in der house.

Me: No, Baby is sleeping, we'll go home, it's ok.

Nugget: No, I ok...

And he runs off. I figure he really just wanted to go inside because Neighbor Chick has all the good food and toys, but keep an eye on him in case he started doing the pee pee dance.

Not two minutes later, Nugget runs two laps around their play set and starts heading for our side of the yard. Toward a tree. A really big tree. And then he disappeared behind said tree.

Oh no he didn't.

I hop up from the porch and sprint to the tree, peek around the corner hoping for the best, and see my child, my baby, my last born, with his pants and McQueen undies around his ankles SQUATTING behind the tree. Like a pro.

The only thing that would have made this better would have been if he had dug a hole first. Clearly he has some things to learn before becoming an expert camper.

Thanks for sparing us the visual, buddy, but if you scroll back up, you'll notice that from that side of the tree, there's nothing between a pooping child and the public but God's green earth and a split rail fence.

Awesome.

Luckily, I caught him before he fertilized the lawn, tossed him over the fence with the instructions to go straight inside and poop IN THE POTTY.

And to think, I imagined my life as the mother of all boys.

Mixing business with pleasure

This picture has nothing to do with this post. But if you do a google image search for the above title, the results are frightening. So instead I give you this. I was cooking dinner tonight and Strip came upstairs to see what I was doing. Zesting a lemon. She asked what we were having, then asked if her "daughter" could eat with us tonight. I told her that was fine, but I only made enough for our fam of 4 and leftovers for me, so she'd have to fix her daughter's dinner. She came up a few minutes later with the above; lemon (zest) pepper chicken! And it looks like Alice fell asleep at the table.

On to the post!

I normally keep this blog about me, Hubs and the kids, but teaching preschool just gives me too many funnies NOT to share. Also, I have a sweet friend who is on hospital bed rest who could use a few laughs, so this one's for you, B!

Our group comes one day a week. But there are 12 of them each day. So 36 different littles a week. Some are potty trained, some are not and some are trying. The first day of school was nuts anyway. One little cutie had on his file "potty trained," so when he told me he needed to go, we scooted to the bathroom.

We'll call him B (not the same B who is chilling in an antepartum wing). B is adorable! And the first day of school? All decked out in his adorable duds. Tucked in little shirt, cutie shorts, a belt, oh he was just too cute! Flash forward to, "Teacher! I have to go pee pee!" We race to the potty and that adorable belt? Not so adorable in the heat of the moment. I get the buckle undone, and me, being the pro kid stripper that I am, grab his undies and shorts at the same time to save us some precious seconds. One problem. Kid's rockin' a onesie. No wonder he stayed so tucked in!

As I'm cursing the adorable clothing line in my head and praying that I don't have someone pee on me the very first day, it hits me; this is exactly the feeling Nugget's teachers must have had his first (50) days of school. Sorry, teachers!

And for the record, no one peed or pooped on me, so I call it a good day.

Today, one of my other adorables, we'll call M, was a little shaky at drop off. He pulled himself together and had an awesome day. Sometime around lunch time, M pulled me aside:

M: Ms. Mommy Chick!

Me: Yes, M?!

M: I not crying any more!!

Me: I know! (hug) I'm so proud of you! What a big boy! Isn't school fun?!

M: Yeah!

Me: And you've had a fun day today?

M: Yes!

Me: And we still have lots of fun things to do, right?!

M: Yes!

Me: and next week, when you come it, I bet you won't cry at all!

M: Well, I'll probably cry a little.

A man with a plan. I like it!

Fun with Math

Back to the sale.

I really enjoyed selling a BUNCH of stuff this fall, don't get me wrong. But, on top of not understanding why some things sell and some don't, I don't understand why some people buy some things used instead of getting exactly what you want new.

So, I sold Strip's coat from Land's End (3-in-1) for $30, Strip's Land's End boots for $20 and Nugget's boots for $20. I totally forgot to pull Nugget's LE jacket, but let's say I tagged it, it would have been $30 as well. All three items sold, so let's also pretend that I remembered to tag Nugget's jacket AND it sold, too.

That would give me $100 from winter basics.

This week, I logged onto ebates and saw I could get 3% cash back at Land's End. Clicked the link and popped a brand new PINK parka in my bag for Strip, new grey/black parka for Nugget and a pair of purple snow boots for Strip. I found a pair of snow boots for Nugget for $4, so he didn't need any.

Grand total with delivery? $107.

And with 3% cash back, that would be $103.79 (oh plus $4 for Nugget's boots puts me back to $107.79).

So for $7 more, I get the colors my kids like, the sizes that will fit them this year and next, can shop in my pjs and can return them to sears if, for some reason, they don't fit the kids correctly.

Totally worth $7

House Rules

Last weekend, the kids and Hubs were in the basement cleaning. I walked half-way down the stairs to toss them a few more toys, and Hubs met me in the middle. He then started play fighting/tickling me so Nugget would come over to save the day.

The end.

About 15 minutes later, Strip comes upstairs and announces, "We have a new rule for our house; No pushing mommy down the stairs!" That's a great rule! She then hands me a piece of paper that illustrates her new rule:

(Sorry, I can't get the picture to flip. Just tilt your head to the left)

Glad she didn't draw that one at school.

After looking at it for a few seconds, I asked,

Me: Who's who?

Strip: That's Daddy on the lower step, and that's you.

Me: Oh, well, what's this (points to the large circle between "my" legs and torso)?

Strip: That's you!

Me: yeah, but what's that? My belly?

Strip: Yes.

Me: Why is it so big?

Strip: I don't know, Mommy, that's just the way God made you.

Kids always have a way of making you feel good about yourself. Looks like I need to dig that free month at Weight Watchers out of the trash!

This blast from the past, brought to you by Google (and Hubs).

The moment we've all been waiting for! Premiere week! WOO HOO!! We kicked it off right last night with a "Wine and Glee-se" party on the big screen with Hubs, me, Neighbor Chick and Jewish Neighbor Chick (waving hello/Shalom!). Neighbor Hubs came out eventually, but he was kind of sleepy.

It rained today, so Hubs said the big screen was a no-go. Hello?! RainED. Past tense. Not raining now! Put it up!! Hubs won, and we watched Modern Family on our normal screen. While watching Hell's Kitchen, an ad came on for a new movie about owls. I have no idea what it's about or what it's called, but it's been creeping Hubs out.

When it came on tonight, he had a flashback.

"Hey! Do you remember that cartoon when we were little? It was about rabbits? And they were in a field? 1/2 were mean and 1/2 were good? You know what I'm talking about, right?"

Blank stare.

Although at that moment, all I could think was, "Mary D. would TOTALLY know this movie." Do you know what he's talking about?

Anyway, I had no clue what he was talking about, so Hubs throws out the, "Oh, it might have been before your time." That whopping 4 years.

He was totally right.

I unleashed my google power and within 9 seconds, I had the answer. I should really work somewhere that can use my power of google for good. Anyway, I found a Q&A forum that had this:

"Me and my sister have been racking our brains trying to figure out the name of a cartoon movie that came out in the early to mid 80's about these rabbits. The movie was a dramatic cartoon that featured good and bad rabbits. One of the bad rabbits I remember had a scar and there was a good rabbit who was very badly beat up in one scene. Seems like he was trying to get carrots from this patch or something. It was a very good movie although it has been so long ago, I dont remember much of it. If you know what it is, you can also please email me at .......k you so much."

As I read the question aloud, Hubs enthusiastically agreed that this was TOTALLY what he was talking about. Scroll on down, and we have our answer.

Watership Down

Another quick google provided me with the promo video. I can't bring myself to link it, but here are some pictures that pop up with a google image search:

If that doesn't scream, "Happy Saturday Cartoon Day," I don't know what does.

2 minutes into the promo, all I could think was, "How in the world did we get on this topic?!" and just then a random owl swooped down and ate a rabbit. Well there ya go.

Watership Down has now been moved to the top of our Netflix queue. I don't think we are going to incorporate it into Family Movie night, but I am going to watch it. Does anyone else out there know this creepy movie?!

Halloween Help

The countdown is on! It's hard to believe I'm already putting together our October calendar and newsletter for school, but I am! As I was going over details, we were planning the class's Halloween party and Teach reminded me that WE had to dress up for Halloween, too.

Grrrrrrreat.

The kids Halloween costumes? Easy peasy. Nugget wants to be Batman, who he is currently obsessed with for, really, no good reason, and Strip wants to be repunzel (for the wig). I even have a costume on order for Zoe that I think is going to be hilarious. But me? Nothing.

Strip's suggestions were Elphaba (Wicked Witch, the green one) or the evil queen from Snow White. I hope she's not typecasting. I figure by Halloween, all of the kids will be settled and use to us/school, so it's probably best NOT to come to school with a green face and fake nose or dressed as a creepy villain.

When I was looking for Zoe's costume online, I figured I'd flip through the adult section and see if anything jumped out at me. When they say "Adult," they aren't kidding. Here's a sampling of things I found:

Queen of Hearts

Cookie Monster

Mad Hatter

Teddy Bear

Police Woman

Yikes. Then while reading descriptions, I came across a crayon costume. Awesome! That's probably comfortable, cute and VERY appropriate for the preschool crowd. Click on the picture and....

Really? How do you make a crayon look inappropriate? I figured since I wasn't having much luck finding something I could wear, I'd see if there were any cute "couples" costumes that we could be. Bacon and eggs? Peanut butter and jelly? Nope:

Outlet and Plug. Forget it! I'll make myself a giant pumpkin outfit and call it a day. When did halloween go from ghosts to strippers?!

Cha Ching!

Well, the results are in, and I did pretty well! I guesstimated that I needed a good $1300 to re-do the counters, and I think I made $755 (check will be here in a couple of weeks, so I'll see if my math is correct!). Not too shabby! I joked with UP about doing an "accent" counter, but figured this will just give us more time to think about if we want to paint/stain the cabinets and pick new colors for the walls before we select our counters.

This was my first time being involved in The Sale. I had NO clue how to price things and really didn't know what people went there to buy. Do they want gymboree sets? A great time to pick up smocked dresses for cheap? Over pay for used play clothes? I had no clue.

Judging from my sales reports, I think I did well pricing things. I had things sell in all my categories and had some higher dollar things go as well as some things that we wondered if they were even worth wasting a hanger.

One important lesson I learned? People are nuts.

While we were tagging and hanging things, I had different piles going; Sell, Goodwill, trash, keep, give to friends. When we got to the end, I was SO close to submitting $3000 and wanted to try to break that number. So, we started scrounging around for something, anything to tag. Ma and I decided to pull out some of the random pairs of socks from the Goodwill bag, and I figured I'll pull the old burp rags too. What the heck! As I was putting things in a bag, Ma asked if I thought this stuff was really going to sell. I told her when I worked in the jewelry store in college, we would have an Anniversary Sale. That time of year, we'd pull out ALL the old, old, old jewelry, put it in zip bags and toss it in a bag labeled $5. You would be shocked to see how nuts people go over things in zip bags priced at $5.

When I pulled my sales sheets, I was shocked, but not shocked to see the following:

BEAUTIFUL Strasburg Children's green velvet dress with red accent stitched collar and full, white satin sash. Matching green purse.

Did not sell.

Ziplock bag with 6 pairs of baby socks? SOLD! Ziplock bag with 7 pairs of baby socks? SOLD!

Ziplock bag with three, old, used cloth diaper/burp rags? SOLD TIMES 2! Yes. 6 old burp rags sold and this gorgeous dress did not.

Now, I know that not all people share my tastes in children's clothing and many people do not choose to dress their little boys in girly clothes, but really people?! Used burp rags?

Note to self, for the spring sale, do not put anything in the goodwill pile. Tag it all and we'll have those new counter tops in no time!