Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Take my privacy

Nugget has funny phrases.

Yes her do!
Here my mam!

And my all time favorite?

Take my privacy!

I think he's heard Strip say, "Give me my privacy," when she goes to the bathroom and just Nugget-ized it. So now, when he's using the bathroom, or wants to be alone, he says, "Take my privacy!"

Anyway, today, Neighbor Chick and I were hanging out with the kiddos after the bus dropped off. All the kids were outside playing except her napping baby. At one point, Nugget walked up on the porch and was going to head into the house. I stopped him.

Me: Oh no, buddy, you can't go in there.
Nugget: I gotta go to tha bathroom.
Me: ok, we'll go home (a whopping 40 yards).
Nugget: No, I gots ta poop. I go in der house.
Me: No, Baby is sleeping, we'll go home, it's ok.
Nugget: No, I ok...

And he runs off. I figure he really just wanted to go inside because Neighbor Chick has all the good food and toys, but keep an eye on him in case he started doing the pee pee dance.

Not two minutes later, Nugget runs two laps around their play set and starts heading for our side of the yard. Toward a tree. A really big tree. And then he disappeared behind said tree.

Oh no he didn't.

I hop up from the porch and sprint to the tree, peek around the corner hoping for the best, and see my child, my baby, my last born, with his pants and McQueen undies around his ankles SQUATTING behind the tree. Like a pro.

The only thing that would have made this better would have been if he had dug a hole first. Clearly he has some things to learn before becoming an expert camper.

Thanks for sparing us the visual, buddy, but if you scroll back up, you'll notice that from that side of the tree, there's nothing between a pooping child and the public but God's green earth and a split rail fence.


Luckily, I caught him before he fertilized the lawn, tossed him over the fence with the instructions to go straight inside and poop IN THE POTTY.

And to think, I imagined my life as the mother of all boys.

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