Monday, October 20, 2008

Yo ho Yo ho

I love to people watch. And what's better than people watching? People listening. Thanks to cell phones, people have an automatic sense of privacy wherever they go, no matter how loud they are talking. For example, I'm in the bank the other day, filling out a deposit slip, when in walks a guy screaming/talking on his cell phone, proclaiming, "YEAH, I HAVE LIKE $64 DOLLARS LEFT IN MY ACCOUNT." Wow. That didn't do much for your cause buddy.
But, even without cell phones, people still speak at such a volume that you can pick up priceless nuggets where every you go. The greatest place to overhear things -- Disney World.
I. Love. Disney.
I would move into Cinderella's castle tomorrow. Love it. I love the music and the characters, but more than that, I love witnessing some of the greatest parenting moments ever.
Just take a walk through Tomorrowland. You'll hear little gems like a father lovingly screaming at a double stroller full of sticky kids, "I DON'T CARE, WE ARE HAVING A GOOD TIME," and you can see the steam coming out of his ears. Love it! Or, you can hear super-fast-mom-speller who is dictate the day's activities to her darling husband, one letter at a time so that the kids can't understand her. This sounds like this
"No, first we are going to see what the wait for S-n-o-w W-h-i-t-e is and if it's long, we get a fast pass, if not we ride it, then it's off to D-u-m-b-o and then we will do S-m-a-l-l W-o-r-l-d. THEN we e-a-t."
Unfortunately, she lost dad at S-n.
So on our last trip to WDW, we of course take the kids on Pirates of the Caribbean, the perfect ride for two kids under four. I know, we are horrible, but Strip has loved that ride since the first time she sat in the boat, so we ride it all the time. We were there during a party, so the lines were nonexistent.
As we scoot on up, the "couple" behind us is huffing and puffing at our heels. I say "couple" because dude is in his mid to late 40's and his ladyfriend is in her really late 60's (but really more like 70's). We stop when we reach the line and begin to dance and sing to the Yo ho yo ho music (hey, it's Disney!). One of my favorite things about Disney rides is you really can't see the ride until you are about to get on it. On Pirates, you can peer through some slats and see the group getting on the boat. We are standing at said place. Here's the conversation:
Dude: Huh. It's a ride.
Ladyfriend: Well, I'll be.
Dude: I thought you said it was a show?!
Ladyfriend: I thought it was! The sign said the next one was in 5 minutes!
At this point, husband and I are about to wet our pants because the sign they saw was really the "wait time is 5 minutes" and Ladyfriend has just made (hefty) Dude run convinced that the show was about to start.
Husband gets sucked in.
Dude: Hey, did you know this was a ride?
Husband: Yup.
Ladyfriend: I thought it was a show!
Husband: Well, I guess it could be like a show, but you move through it on a boat!
Dude: What do you mean.
Husband: Well, you know the movies Pirates of the Caribbean
Dude: No.
Husband (taken aback): Umm you know the pirate movies that came out a few years ago?
Dude: No.
Husband: Really? They were pretty big. They had Johnny Depp in them...
Dude: Oh yeah.
Husband: Yeah those!
Dude: Don't know anything about them
Husband (obviously struggling and I am obviously wetting my pants): Yeah, anyway, there were
these big pirate movies with Johnny Depp in them that were actually based on this ride.
Ladyfriend: I know Johnny Depp!
Me (trying to add something) Well, be on the look out because he's in the ride three times (catching myself because these two didn't seem to be the sharpest) as a robot figure thing. They added him after the movies...
Oh look! It's our time! Enjoy the "show!"
NOTE: They ended up sitting behind us in the boat where we got to hear a play-by-play commentary about how "oh gawd that was smoke not water!" and "oh gawd it smells funny" as we were thinking "oh gawd, she's feeling all up on his leg and oh gawd we totally thought you were a mother/son duo." Yikes.

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