Monday, January 25, 2010

Ripping off a band-aid

**This image came from the Band-Aid's website. I went there after doing a "Ripping off the Band-Aid" google image search. Don't make the mistake I did. Up will pop videos. Really?! Who want's to see that (and no there wasn't just one!)?!**

First, I'd like to say thanks to all the strangers, friends and strange friends (you know who you are!) who stopped by to read about Bug. It has warmed my heart to get so may messages from people who either did or didn't know her, but still wanted to let us know they were thinking about us.

I kind of thought we were in the clear with the kids. They had taken their time Saturday to mourn and seemed to be ok. However (of course when Hubs isn't here!) Nugget started asking where June was and looking for her. Before I could answer, he said, "Oh yeah! June at Doctor!" Without missing a beat, Strip went over to him and said, "Oh, Buddy. She's in heaven now. We can't see her anymore. I'm sorry."

Sucking back the tears I suggest we head downstairs for breakfast.

I decided today would be the day I did the tough stuff. No need to wait and let things sit around. I could see myself turning into Mrs. Havisham if I let things be for too long (what?! You don't know who Mrs. H is?! Shame on you! Go read Great Expectations immediately! Mr. Buckley commands it). So I did some tough stuff today. And to make matters worse? It started snowing. Large, beautiful, delicious flakes of snow, which always magically turned my old lady into a puppy again. This was going to be tougher than I thought.

First step? Vacuum everything. As much as I love my dyson with it's clear canister, I hated it today. The constant visual reminder of black and white hair spinning around? Ugh! And on another note, that dog must be shedding from heaven! I JUST did the floors! I swear! Also on the list? Wipe down the back door, inside and out. Those sweet little nose prints from either seeing a squirrel in the backyard or wanting to come in from the snow hurt to wipe away, but again, I couldn't leave them there forever.

Later in the day, I gave the kids some popcorn while they watched a movie so I could clean the basement. When I came back upstairs, I wanted to call all of their preschool teachers and apologize for what messy eaters I had. I've never noticed because my Lab Mix Hoover always sucked up crumbs before they hit the floor. So with a tear in my eye, I whipped out the broom. Next step, wash out the bowls so they were clean and ready to be packed away. This didn't seem as hard, probably because I washed them out in normal life anyway?

Then came a tough one. The dog food. I have about 20 lbs of her food in the pantry (which I see every time I open it, which is often because Nugget is at least 1/3 bottomless-pit goat). I figured since she herself was a pound puppy, I'd see if the Humane society could take it. The problem with this? I would have to call the humane society. And I didn't want to paint myself as the picture of crazy as I sobbed hysterically about donating my dog food, so I decided the practical option was to email them. Problem? To get the email, I had to go on the web page, and going on the web page showed pictures of dogs up for adoption. Ugh. As I cried into my laptop, I did have to laugh, because check this out. Here is a picture of June Bug and UP's dog Taybay one halloween before they went trick-or-treating:

Not the best picture, but you get the idea (and it makes me giggle!). Anyway, take a gander at two adoptable dogs:


Is it my tear goggles, or do they look JUST like our dogs?! Freaky! Except Taylor 2 is only 8 months old, so I'm pretty sure he's going to be a horse when he grows up. Then there was this baby who made me cry because she had sad eyes:

I'm planning to ring-and-run the dog food on Sunday. I think that's the best course of action.

The last thing was the hardest. Laundry. With puking kid, I needed to do sheets and towels which threw off my normal loads, so tonight I was sorting and picked up my sweater, the sweater I was wearing on Friday. I immediately started to tear up. I knew I needed to wash it, but I still didn't want to. I decided to give it one last smell to remember my sweet girl one last time. But instead, I cried harder. All I could smell was detergent and sweater. Her puppy smell was nowhere to be sniffed. Not where her head was, not on the sleeves where I was petting her, nowhere. I decided cold/darks would be the first load of the night to get it over with.

When I was putting Nugget to bed, he kept muttering something under his breath. He had not slept well at ALL last night, and I ended up in bed with him where he continually kicked me in the stomach and face while screaming/moaning. I asked him what his deal was tonight and he said he had a bad dream. I asked what it was and he said, "The dog got me. June not here." Ugh. then he just kept saying, "We no dog here anymore." over and over again.

To get my mind off of things (and because it's been since AUGUST!) I'm going to get a hair cut. The only problem with this? It's a block from the vet's office.

I know things will get easier, I just wish they would hurry up and get easier.

1 comment:

Lianne said...

Oh! You know what? I think God blesses those of us with tender hearts. I think we are more capable of love sometimes.

My heart grieves for you guys. I'm sure that June knew how much she was loved.