Enjoying Life...a little too much.

A couple of weeks ago, I wandered into Whole Paycheck Foods to treat myself to some delicious Ener-G dinner rolls because they make a better pizza crust than the regular bread. Unfortunately, they were out of the rolls, but I did see pizza crust mix, brownie mix and pancake mix on the shelf right below the bread. The CLOSEST mix I've found had almond in it, so I had to put it back, but this one? This one met my checklist! I couldn't believe it! I grabbed a bag of pizza crust and pancakes, thinking I'd finally be able to have Friday Night Pizza and Saturday Morning pancakes again!

I made it halfway down the aisle when I thought about how much I was about to spend on mixes that I wasn't sure I'd like, so I turned and went to put them back. Then I stopped and thought, why not! It's worth a try, and turned again to walk back. Made it halfway down the aisle again, when I talked myself into getting ONE mix to see if I liked it and checking reviews on the one I didn't like. Turn around again. Got back to the shelf and thought it was stupid to get one and not both, and while the prices might be high, I can return the unused portion if it's terrible. Back again with two. Then I talked myself out of it again thinking I should just go research the company first, then come back and buy. Back again to return them.

Is it not frightening how we can impulse buy houses, but pizza crust mix? Whoa now, that calls for a pros and cons list.

I finally decide to put them both back, but when I do, I notice this delightful company called Enjoy Life. Here we go again!

I grab a little box of brownie cookie bites, flip them over and they are good to go! For $3.69 and no baking, I decide to buy them. I get home and put them in the pantry, petrified to try them. They have to be disgusting, right? I mean, let's look at what's NOT in them :

So with that much MISSING, what are you eating?! I finally cracked one night after dinner, and shockingly, they were good. No, they were DELICIOUS!!! The cookies are the size of a quarter (Or a Famous Amos), and the serving size says 2 cookies. Yum! How perfect and satisfying!

Needless to say, that box was gone after a week, so Wednesday (oh, to be fair, I gave the last 2 cookies to one of Strip's school buddies who is allergic to a TON too. I figured if he liked them, Mom could buy more, but who wants to spend money on a maybe that no one else in the family is going to eat!), I scooted back up to buy another box. THEY WERE ON SALE!!! 2 for $5, so I grabbed a box of the brownie cookies and the chocolate chip ones.

They are both gone. 2 boxes. One week. And I shared with no one. Yikes! And, when I went to the website to snag a visual, I found, not only a coupon for $.55 off my next purchase, but also BAGELS!! They make safe-for-me bagels! Hey, breakfast! I'll be seeing you soon!

Adopt this dog, NOW!

Hubs has been on my case because I've been combing through petfinder.com like a maniac. I told him I wasn't really looking for a dog, I was looking for dogs I didn't want. Like when I went to the H.S., I was able to look at all those dogs and think, "Awe, so cute, but not for me!"

This was all well and good for a while. I had my specific criteria typed in, and there were about 2300 dogs who did nothing for my heartstrings. I've already convinced myself that we do not need to get a dog right now. Hello?! Did you see my post yesterday? House training + SNOW = not my cup of tea. Plus, it wouldn't be fair to a puppy to be cooped up inside, better to wait until it's warmer and we can leash train outside and run and play in the backyard. Plus, we're going to Ma's family reunion in June, and I don't need to bring a puppy to the family beach house. AND, we're stockpiling cash for a swing set while trying to pay off this last, lingering debt. We need a debt-free dog and a little extra for new puppy emergencies.

So every logical bone in my body is on the right path. But then? Then I came across this:

AHHH! As I told Hubs (and my brother-in-law, and my cousin-in-law's wife, and four friends on facebook and two co-workers, and anyone else who would sit still), you don't want to eat her with a spoon, you just want to swallow her whole! Look at that face?! And those eyes?! She's a beagle boston terrier mix, so I'm thinking she'll be as close to perfect as you can get (without being June's clone). No bigger than a beagle, low shed like a BT, great with kids.

She's in OH, and I finally emailed the rescue group to hear the words, "We're sorry, she's been adopted!" and put myself out of my misery. Unfortunately, they emailed back, "ohhh. I know quite a few of those pups were already adopted and someone else was coming by the foster mom's house this weekend to pick one pup up, but I think This Dog is the only one left! We'll let you know after the people come to pick up their pup who's left!"

NO!!! Don't be the last dog left!! Who in their right mind could come look at all those pups and leave her?! She's adorable (and the cutest one out of the litter, if you ask me!). So I'm begging someone out there to PLEASE run, don't walk to Cincinnati, OH and take this dog. There is also a Caribou Coffee or two there, so it will be worth the drive. Just do NOT let this group tell me that she's the last one left on Monday. It will break my heart and every rational bone in my body. I might even chip in for your gas money :-)

The snow's got to go

On Tuesday morning, I looked out the window and saw snowflakes. I quickly convinced myself they were blowing off the roof and out of trees.

Two days later, they are still blowing.

It's not that I don't like the snow, it's that Nugget equates snow with Christmas, and I'm getting a little tired of hearing his off-key version of "Jingle Bells" every time we are in the car. Hey, winter. It's going to be March next week! Pack it up.

When getting Strip's clothes out for school, I was digging around her sock drawer when she sighed heavily and said, "UGH. I am SO ready to not wear socks!" Amen, sister.

And on an ebay note, I now have 7 watchers and one bid (yay!), so we'll see what happens this weekend. Woo hoo!

But now the question is

Will I make enough to cover the cost of the swing set, some new clothes for the kids AND pay for the medical bills to treat the ulcer I'm giving myself?! I need to just back away from the computer.

I've got 4 days left and 6 people watching it. Just make a bid people! BID!!!

I'm going to throw up now. I'm not sure if I'm cut out for ebay selling. But, to give myself inspiration (or to further my depression!) I've added a money thermometer to see how long it takes to hit my goal. I hope that sucker starts filling up with red soon!

Let the selling begin!

Nope, not my soul. Or the kids. I've finally taken the plunge and listed something on ebay. Eeek! And I'm a nervous wreck. I've been saying, "Oh save that, I can sell it" for the past 5 years resulting in a nauseatingly large amount of gorgeous kids clothes stuffed in garbage bags in our basement. Every so often, I'll go through them, but I'm emotionally attached to them. Not the clothes, the price. I know how much I/Ma/Friends/Family paid for that dress! No way am I letting it go for $3! Are you kidding me?!

Until a few weeks ago. I was doing my monthly Costco run when I noticed they had spring/summer stuff out. And what do they always have right when you walk in? A giant Rainbow play system. Of course I the kids start squealing and pointing. So when they ask, "Can Daddy build us that?!" I give the same answer I've given for the past three years: Maybe next summer!

Soon they will be in high school and I can make their dreams come true just in time for them to be thoroughly embarrassed by it. As we stand there admiring the perfection that is this play system, I glance at the price.

$999.99

Great. Where are we going to scrape together an extra $1000 before these bad boys are gone? I'd just had a come-to-Jesus with Hubs and we are back on track, paying down our last, tiny, remaining debt and any extra money we have coming in is going straight to our snowball. I've already put out feelers for an additional job, but that's not going to happen anytime soon. The stuff I've posted on Craig's list has been a bust (Oh! I love your item! Here, read my sob story. Feel bad for me? Great! I'll take what you are offering for 90% off the listed price! Nope), so now what? The basement!!

I came home an pulled all the bags I could carry upstairs and divided everything into one pile. Cute but basic starts at $1, nicer things starting at $5. I added up my piles and if everything sells for just the asking price, I'll have what I need to buy the play set, with fingers crossed that a few things go for over to cover ebay fees and taxes at Costco. Then anything that I make over the playset will go toward the kids' spring and summer clothes.

I decided to list about 5 things today and see how they sell/ship/etc and I just listed my first item. EEK! I feel like a middle school girl waiting on a call from a boy, but instead of picking up the phone every 8 seconds to see if there's still a dial tone, I keep refreshing my page to see if anyone is watching/bidding. This is going to be an interesting week!

Spaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh Day

Today was the big day! My appointment wasn't until the afternoon, so I spent a lazy morning with the kids and Hubs. After lunch, I finally took a shower and got ready to go. I am SO glad Hubs did this for me. He knows I could really use some new clothes, but specifically said in his card he wanted to get me something I'd never do for myself.

And boy was he right!

He pre-ordered my services and told me I could change it if I wanted, but figured he put the time and effort into it, I'd just stick with what he had. I get checked in, get a nice glass of water and am given a little tour of the spa. The Spa Lady shows me to the locker room, gives me my key and tells me to meet her in the Quiet Room when I was ready. There I am, in a changing room with a key, a robe and slippers. Crap, now what do I do?! Undies and robe? Just robe? Bra? No Bra? I didn't want to saunter into the QR with nothing but a robe and a smile, but I didn't want to be the only idiot with a robe draped over my cardigan and pants. I pep talked myself into the robe and wished I had a friend or two to share the experience with. Then I told myself to suck it up and enjoy. When are you EVER alone? And when is it EVER quiet? NEVER!

So with my head held high, I waltzed into the quiet room. Unfortunately, the room I wandered into was the Half-Drunk-Housewives room. There was champagne and OJ and a fruit tree and all sorts of goodies, but since my Spa Lady didn't specifically say to "Help yourself!" so I just cozied up with my water and listened to their (not quiet) conversations. I assumed they were getting ready for a wedding or something and wondered why I got shoved in this room. I then got to hear the joys of middle-aged dating. Wah hoo.

My hot stone massage gal could not have shown up at a better time. She led me back to the room, and I got ready to enjoy a 50 minute volcanic rock massage. Unfortunately, I think I have ADD which gets in the way of SPA. My mind starts to wander. 50 min. Per person. So say she works a 6 hour shift, she does at least 5 massages? I wonder how boring that is. Rub, rub, grab a rock, rub, rub grab another rock. You don't talk, so it's not like you're doing hair, so is it boring? And the lights are down awfully low. Is that so she doesn't have to really look at the ugly body parts she's smacking rocks on? Maybe it's like a dance. I wonder if this music is on a loop and it's like a choreographed dance. Like, that parts over, so now she moves on to my feet? UGH! MY FEET!! EEEK! I should have skipped the eyebrow wax this week and splurged on a pedicure. I wonder if she's ever seen an uglier toe than my left big toe. I wish I didn't have this mask on so I could have seen her face when she pulled back the sheets to reveal my piggies! Oh! Rocks between the toes. Ooh, what if my little quazimoTOE can even hold a little rock like the others. Whew! It did! Ok, really?! You are going to totally ruin this day if you keep up the inner monologue. Zip it, brain.

After that, I'm pretty sure I enjoyed the 50 minute massage. I say pretty sure because I'm pretty sure I fell asleep a few times. after I flipped over on my stomach.

When the massage was over, I was lead back to the QR which was still the HDH room. I walked in right as a girl, not in their group, graciously picked up a glass of champagne. Unfortunately, it WAS just for their group. They were nice to her face, but giggled like drunks when she left. I'm on her side. The spa ladies lead you in, there isn't a sign, why not help yourself?! Turns out they were there because their husbands and significant others were at a convention and they paid to have all the gals get spa'd for the day. Not to shabby, but KEEP IT DOWN LADIES!

Next up was my very enthusiastic facial girl. I kid you not, she squealed when I told her I had never had a facial before. After getting settled on the warm, cozy table with warm cozy sheets, she whipped out the giant mirror my dermatologist use to come at me with in high school. Accutane flashbacks!! Go to a happy place. She then starts going on and on about how great my skin looks, how great my pores are, what great care I must take of my skin. Side note: I've been looking for a great skin care line. I LOVED one I used years ago, but it's associated with a multi-leveled marketing group that I did not care to get back into. So, while shopping in Costco the other week, I noticed a Kirkland brand like that looks EXACTLY like the multi-level marketing stuff, just different color bottles. HA! Back to the facial, we chatted a bit at first, then she said the awesome phrase, "Feel free to ask any questions, but I'm just going to let you relax!" Goodnight! I quickly relaxed and dozed off after she "took care of a couple of spots" (aka popped a couple of zits I didn't even know I had!), and the next thing I knew, she was whispering in my ear that she was finished!

Whew! She lead me back to the quiet room, which was actually quiet now, and I kicked my feet up to enjoy my third glass of water. Then I headed back to the locker room to change. I was so relaxed when I left that when the light turned green and I didn't go immediately (hello? I'm afraid the other guys aren't going to stop sometimes) the older gentlemen in the gold van behind me LAID on the horn, so I just waved and pulled out. He promptly pulled up beside me as we were driving and screamed, "FEMALE DOG!" en francais, to which I replied after rolling down my window, "God bless you!!" He was so confused he almost ran off the road.

Thanks again, Hubs!

Where do they gain this knowledge?

After a morning at the preschool, Nugget and I scooted home for a quick lunch before picking up Strip. I was busy making our lunches and he asked for some milk. Knowing that there was just a few ounces left in the gallon, I told him

"Sure! Grab it out of the fridge ok?"

After a few minutes of uninterrupted lunch prep, it occurred to me that I didn't have a toddler ramming a cup and a gallon jug into the back of my leg, begging. So I turn around to find this:

Seriously?! How does he know to turn up the jug? Is it just in the male genes? Guess so.

After Strip came home, she wanted a snack so I told her to grab a bag of bunnies out of the pantry. She brought them to me and said

Strip: Open please!

Me: Sure. Wait. You can open these.

Strip: No I can't.

Me: Well, then I can't send them in your lunch box anymore.

Strip: Why?

Me: Well, you're supposed to be able to open everything in your bag. Remember, next year when you are in Kindergarden, you're teachers won't be sitting with you to open everything for you and you have to do it all by yourself.

Strip: (without hesitation) Oh. That's ok, when I'm in Kindergarden, I'll buy my lunch.

Umm. First question, who told you about buying your lunch in kindergarden, and how do you know what a "bought lunch" looks like?! How does she know it's all piled out on your tray like Piccadilly?

Ugh. They grow up too fast.

Valentine's Day Yay?!

I have always hated Valentine's Day. It started at a young age. I think it goes back to when I was in first grade and was in love with Drew G (he wore the cutest blue sweater with Odie on the front of it). He gave me a Valentine that had a rocket ship on it, and the rocket ship part was a mini pack of lifesavers (3, 2, 1 Be mine!), and even though I didn't care for Life Savers, he had scratched out the "From" and wrote "Love, Drew." Ekk! My life was complete! I popped that Valentine on my cork board and was high on life. Until about two weeks later when Charlsie came over to play, noticed the Valentine and said, "He did the same thing on mine! Ha!"

Ha?!? My future husband is already cheating on me and we haven't even started dating! After that, it seemed I was always sick on Valentines, and if I wasn't sick, my Valentine box was just sub bar.

I was so excited in the 4th grade, though because I had the BEST valentine box idea ever. My dad worked in paper, so I had a good stash of corrugated boxes, and I constructed a life-sized robot. One eye slit was for 4A to put their Valentines in and 4B had the other eye slit. They would fall into two separate boxes that looked like one big box that was the robot's stomach. It was going to be AWESOME. Of course, I got the flu x20, couldn't go to school. Mom took my robot to school, but everyone tossed the valentines in one slot and he fell apart before I got back to school.

From there on out, I decided that Valentine's day was a cruddy day. Fast forward to the V-day that Hubs and I were engaged. I was actually kind of excited to spend my first V-day with someone I loved, and spent 3.5 hours cruising to our soon-to-be house in NC thinking about the wonderful weekend we were going to spend together. Hubs, lovingly met me at the door, but not to tell me how much he loved me, but to tell me that my grandfather had unexpectedly passed away. So we got back in the car and I sobbed 3.5 hours back.

This year, I again wasn't expecting much, but just kept hoping no one would vomit or die. Hubs decided to meet his brother and dad a few hours away for three days, and I got in a funk. It's not enough that you travel so much for work, but you have to go away, AGAIN, during horrible snowy weather?! My good-bye to him on Wednesday morning was, "If you get killed in a car accident, I'm going to be really ticked."

While he was away, I noticed we were being charged by the salon he no longer goes to, so I told him he needed to call and take care of it. He called a few hours later to tell me that they actually overcharged us before and owed us $80.

Me: Woo hoo! I'm going to buy myself a Valentine's present then!

Hubs: What are you getting?

Me: A printer cable so I can finally print from my new computer. I'm sick of bugging you and I'm just going to do it myself.

Hubs: Oh no, no! If that's what you want, I'll get it for you for Valentine's Day!

Whoa no no no. That's like me going grocery shopping on Sunday and coming home to call it Valentine's Day. Don't want to exchange gifts? Fine, but don't buy me something I've NEEDED for months and call it a gift. Let me break this down for you. Eyebrow wax? Maintenance. Facial? Gift.

So I was even more huffy when he announced Saturday morning that he had to "run a few errands." I reminded him I needed him back by 11:30 so I could go to work. He left at 9:30 and was back at 11:00. And I knew he spent a good 30 minutes in the grocery store getting stuff for dinner that night (I had flashbacks of the year my mom TOTALLY forgot about stocking stuffers, kicked me out of the car at the front of the neighborhood and we ended up getting lots of things like glitter, glue, gum, staples and anything else the little drug store up the street had in stock on Dec. 24th).

So imagine my shock and surprise to wake up to a gift bag from a local spa with a menu and nice little gift card. He already selected the 50 minute facial and hour lava rock massage, but told me I can get whatever I want when I go in for my appointment next Saturday (he already booked it! Go Hubs!). And, to add more points in the Hubs' corner, the card was just a sweet, heartfelt message. I kind of expected to see "Maybe they can rub that chip off your shoulder!" slipped in there somewhere, but he contained himself.

He also did this for me:

A large black and white print of June Bug with her collar in a shadow box frame. Love it! We enjoyed a nice dinner at home, put the kids to bed and watched Couples Retreat, so all in all, it was a pretty great day! I'm still apprehensive about posting it because I think I'll jinx myself and have some horrible reaction to the facial products, but even if that happens, I'll have about three hours of quiet pampering, so I'll take the good with the bad.

Dear Hubs, Basement does not = babysitter

Poor Nugget. He woke up screaming at 2 about his ear. I looked to see if it was infected, and it looked fine, no fever, so I thought maybe he bumped it on the side of his bed. We finally settled him down and he was up AGAIN at 5, so I sent him down with Hubs so I could catch a couple more hours of sleep before going to work.

I took Strip with me, and it was just the boys at home. Hubs, at one point, turned Cars on in the basement and started straightening up the kitchen. Around noon I get a call saying we need fingernail polish remover, which is odd because I thought we had some, and seriously, why would two boys need nail polish remover?

Why?

This is why:

In the words of Nugget:

I climb up. Daddy's chair. I paint nose. I paint face.

Which translates:

I climbed up in daddy chair at the desk, found some whiteout and figured what the heck? Don't I look great!?

Ugh. If he's in the basement, great. If he's in the basement and quiet, trouble. Thank goodness tomorrow is a holiday and I can continue to exfoliate!

How did your Valentine's weekend go?

So far? Mine's about like this:

• Woke up to sweet Hubs herding the children downstairs. Unfortunatley, the monitor was in the hall and the parent receiver was still in the bedroom, so I gave up and stumbled downstairs.
• Good news? By registering our Keurig coffee maker online, I was able to order 4 boxes of k-cups for $25 (about $.25 per cup!). Bad news? They probably won't be here until Tuesday.
• Hubs made breakfast for the kiddos. I got to do the dishes when he left to "run errands."
• I went to work where a kid asked me how old I was. First guess was 16 (woo hoo!) When I gave the hint of "I'm married and have 2 kids," the follow-up guess was, "Well, you've got to be at LEAST 60." woo hoo?
• I came home to Nugget who had (yay) not pooped in a diaper in three days, but (boo) hadn't pooped at all meaning I spent some quality time with a crying toddler in our bright blue bathroom (note to all: if you buy a house saying "We are SO going to paint that," and you have kids, you are so NOT going to paint. Anytime soon).

Bright spot? After winning the poop showdown, Strip offered to give me a make-over (hair, make up and accessories). After fixing my hair, she put on some fancy Valentine's glasses. I asked how she was going to do my makeup if I was wearing the glasses, so she took them off and started to work on me.

After sweeping three different colors of eye shadow ABOVE my eyebrows, I asked if she knew what she was doing.

YES!

Just asking because the shadow is starting to mesh with my hairline...

2 minutes later, she was finished. She had already had her make up and accessories, but fixed her hair accordingly. I give you, the finished product:

It all makes sense. The three layers on the eye are for emphasis and the three ABOVE the brow are so you can still see it when the glasses are on! Perfection!

Good thing we were grilling out at home tonight!

(PS That's a celebratory sucker stick in the kid's mouth, not a cigarette!)

Game on.

A couple of weeks ago, we decided to skip church which was a good decision for the night since Nugget fell asleep AT the dinner table. Instead, we made it a family game night and the kids had a blast. This week, Strip wanted to do the same, so I told her we'd do it tonight.

After stuffing our faces with spaghetti, we headed down to the basement for some games. The original plan was to play "Hot Potato" because it's easy, keeps Nugget in the zone and neither kid could cheat. Unfortunately, even though the basement is clean and organized, the potato was nowhere to be found. So, we spent the first part of the evening playing "Try My Patience" (or as Milton Bradley calls it, "Chutes and Ladders").

The board is a fold out with a split up the middle, so every time one of my short-armed babies reached to move their player, they would unintentionally lean on the board, right at the split, making all the people fall over and pour to the middle of the board. Nugget is in love with the number three, so he only wanted to move three spaces on all of his turns. Strip kept calculating how many spaces she needed to hit the big ladders or avoid the big chutes, and would try to sneak an extra spin or three in if she didn't get the number she needed on her first spin. And about half-way through the game, Nugget just got bored and wandered off to play with trains and later kept trying to run us over with his toy lawn mower.

I have got to find that potato.

To follow up from my allergy appointment, yes I am still as allergic as I was last year. The epi pen stays, so I'm doing a little online shopping for an epi clutch. A friend of mine's mom works for Coach and while we were in NYC I was looking at these cutie little zip wallets with elastic pen holders. If they made them a LITTLE bit bigger, I could slip my epi pen right in there, but alas, Epi pens are fatter than roller balls. I'm thinking of partnering with Coach to come out with an epi line.

Oh! And to boost my confidence, when I was asking about integrating real food into my diet if when we go to Europe, he said (and I quote), "Normally we can work towards that, but you fall so far off the normal spectrum, I don't think we need to discuss that right now."

Awesome! Ma called me fat and my allergist thinks I'm a freak. 2010 is looking up!

It's hard to believe it's been a year

But today is my checkup with my allergist. I'll be interested to see if I can start incorporating real food back into my diet. Although my allergies have been a pain to get use to, it's kind of been nice staying UNDER my goal weight while still enjoying cheesy mashed potatoes, nice filets and red wine without guilt.

But, Hubs and I want to take a nice little European vacation in a year or so, and I have no desire to learn my allergy list in 5 different languages.

The only other pain is carrying my epi pen. It was fine at first because I have a giant purse that held my wallet, 4 diapers, wipes, juice boxes, cell phone, 6 princesses, 4 cars, my epi pen and still had plenty of room (I'm Mary Poppins!). Now that we're diaper free travelers, It's a pain to lug that giant bag with nothing but my phone, wallet and epi pen. So if I still have to be epi-dependent, I've already picked out a cute little clutch that holds all my nessicities and nothing else (sorry McQueen, Mater and Belle).

Fingers crossed we don't discover anything ELSE I'm allergic to, though.

The joys of potty training continue!

Really? With a title like that, what kind of image did you expect?!

We had a minor setback, and a reminder that I only jinx myself last week. I made the comment to a friend that Nugget was for the most part potty trained, he just refused to poop in the potty, but only pooped in a diaper, so that was fine with me. A diaper at night was better than going through a pack a week.

I said, and I quote, "He NEVER poops in his pants."

JINX!!

That night, I made it my mission to get that kid to poop on the potty. He'd done it a few times before, but never consistently. So, after getting home from church, I pumped him full of prune juice, poured myself a glass of wine, gathered some of his favorite books and was ready.

25 minutes later, the poor child was falling asleep on the potty with his head in my lap. I strapped on a diaper and figured we'd try again tomorrow. Hubs got up with him the next day and obviously the prunes did their magic, so I thought we were good to go, popped on some Maters and headed out. It was a volunteer day for me at preschool, so Nugget was hanging with the office staff. 15 minutes before I was finished, the unthinkable happened. Poop.

Prune juice is like brylcreem in that just a dab will do you, so needless to say, we were riding the prune all.weekend.long.

But Monday was the start of a new week. Back in big boy undies, we spent our day, busy as ever. Late afternoon, I set up wii fit for the kids while I cooked dinner. Ma called (maybe I should stop talking to her on the phone while the kids are awake!), so I was chatting with her and I hear, "Oh. Snotrod SO sad." Toddler translation=I just wet my pants and Snotrod (the character on my underwear) is now sad.

Great. We trudged upstairs, and I tell him we'll just put on our pjs when he tells ME, "No. I need a diaper." Whoa now. If you can ask for a diaper because you need to poop, you can poop on the potty. End of story. After some crying and moaning, I told him I'd get him some juice, so I head to the kitchen to fetch us both a beverage (apple for him, grape for me... fermented) then return to the bathroom ready to wait it out. 2 minutes later, the phone rings. Hubs was calling saying he was almost home (late night for him. I promise I wasn't pouring wine at 4 pm). I return to the bathroom to my crying 2 year-old. And then? I totally lie.

"That was McQueen. He asked to talk to you, but I told him you were in the bathroom. He got excited and asked if you pooped in the potty, but I had to tell him no. He told me you could call him back when you poop in the potty. Would you like to call him?"

"Uh huh."

"Ok, well, if you poop in the potty, we'll call McQueen."

Crap! Literally!

That kid slammed his juice cup on the counter, grabbed my arm with both hands and pooped.

"Now call Queen."

Well, good gravy! Wish I would have tried that one a few months ago! I quickly call back Hubs' cell (praying he wasn't walking in the door), and when he answered, we had this conversation:

Me: McQueen?? Lightening McQueen?!

Hubs: Umm Hello?

Me: Hi! Is this Lightening McQueen?!?!

Hubs: Ummmm. Uh Yeah?

Me: Great McQueen! I have Drew here and he has something very exciting to tell you!!

hand the phone to Nugget

Nugget: No. I wanna talk a Mater.

Me: Oh, Um, McQueen? Is Mater there.

Hubs: Yeah, sure.

Me: (handing the phone to Nugget) Here ya go! It's Mater!!

Nugget: Hi Mater! I squeeze big poop in potty. I eat m&m's.

Hubs: blah blah blah

Nugget: Ok. Bye!

I tell Mater bye and ask Nugget what he said. Waaaaahoooooo!! Very Mater-like. Way to go Hubs :-)

Hubs walked in the door a few seconds later and Nugget was SO excited to tell him about his chat with Mater. He was so excited, he didn't want to sleep in a diaper tonight, so we'll see if we can check "poops in the potty" and "stays dry all night" off the list in one night. Cheers!

C for Creative

This morning I was on the phone with Ma, and Strip started the tip-toe reach for a bag on my desk. I had already told her to leave it alone, but being 4, she "forgot." Not surprising 11 seconds later, I hear the shattering of glass.

Yay Mondays!

I told Ma I had to go collect all the little pieces of my bud vase/pen holder. The base is pewter, so it was fine, but there was no hope for the glass part. Here's a post-shatter pic:

She started crying hysterically. I told her I wasn't mad, but that's what happens when you don't listen to mommy.

Can we get another one?!

No, it's old and was given to me as a gift, so I'm not sure where it came from.

Can't we fix it?!?!

No, there are too many tiny pieces to glue back together.

WAAAAAHHHHHAAAAA!

She then dug around my desk (hello?! Did we just learn nothing?!) and disappeared into the basement with scissors and tape. About 20 minutes, she appeared, still tear-stained, holding this:

Notice the hand etched side? And it was already filled with pens and crayons. Gotta love that kid!

We gotta work on her...

The kiddos wanted to do wii fit yesterday, and since it's been a while since they weighed in, I whipped out the balance board. Our sweet little wii Family (plus UP and Beck) came running on the screen.

Strip: Hahahahahahaha! Look how fat daddy is!!

Me: Hey that's not nice.

Strip: Sorry.

Me: You shouldn't call daddy fat, it could hurt his feelings.

Strip: No it won't. He's not here!

YIKES!

Never thought I'd do/say/think/try this!

That about sums up my weekend! Like I said earlier, I packed up my pity party and headed to Jersey for a SUPER quick trip. And thus began my journey into doing/saying/thinking/trying new and different things. Starting with....

Airport Security

I am a seasoned traveler, and in no way get upset when flying. I do get a little worried now that I have kids because I don't want to die and leave them, but I think that just gives fuel to the fire to take someone OUT if they even looked like they were going to mess with my plane. I understand airport security and the reasons why we have to go through all the motions. Heck, I've even said I'd be totally fine if we all had to go into a room and put on special flying scrubs if that meant it was safer to fly. So the first thing I'd NEVER thought I'd think was "well this isn't comfortable" while going through the security measures.

Our airport has one of the fancy new x-ray machines. Totally open, clear booth and the screens are in a separate area, so I'm hoping pretty sure no one sees your insides. I go through the normal scanner and don't beep which was exciting because I had on this bra with an extra hook that's metal so you can change the straps around and I was worried it would set off the alarm. I'm then standing on the other end of the open xray staring at a very large man. We exchange an uneasy glance, and I say, "So, do I need to go through this, too?"

He looks me up and down for an awkward 11 seconds and says, "Yeah. Come on in." Um. Ew?

I then have to assume some spray tanning positions while a booth full of men stare at screens a few feet away, all the while, I'm reminding myself of the news story I watched when our airport got these and picturing myself looking like this:

Totally not me. I was not packin' heat. But you get the idea?! Little much for 8 am. right?! Well, apparently Security Dude (S.D) thought I was packin' something because I had to "Stand on the mat and DO NOT look behind you" (cue me looking over my shoulder), just as my flying buddy Beck was coming through the normal, no one sees your booty, scanner with a look of fear in her eyes. I asked what we were doing, and S.D. told me we were "waiting for a female attendant to thoroughly search me." Well fantastic. Can someone please upgrade me to business class now so I can get a drink. I learned during a post 9/11 flight back from NYC that airport security has no sense of humor, especially when feeling you up, so it's best to keep smart remarks to yourself, so I stood, not looking behind me, while we waited on my "date" to arrive.

While we waited, S.D. asked, again, if I had anything in my left front pocket. I dug around, and told him no, and offered to turn my pocket inside out. He declined my offer and when my date arrived, she rubbed my thigh and reached in my pocket, clearing me to go. I gathered my shoes, coat and carry on and did the walk of shame past the booth of googlie eyes who had just seen me naked. Awesome. (And I totally got us upgraded to business, just so you know).

I wish you would have been shot in the face.

Who thinks that, right? ME! The sole purpose of my visit was to see one of my college roomies who's husband has been fighting his way out of a coma since Feb. 2007. He was in a helicopter crash while serving as an army ranger, and if you saw the picture of the crash site, you'd be amazed that anyone made it out in one piece much less alive. The human brain is both amazing and fickle, and I'll pull my soap box out later, but for now I'll just say, comas suck. How is it, that a super strong, amazing man can have a head injury, look totally normal, but not be able to get out of this coma, and another person can have HALF of their brain shot out of their head, and WALK out of the hospital. So it was this visit where I looked at her Hubs and said, "Why couldn't you get shot in the head?!"

On a side note, he's ROCKING the Jersey treatment. His wife (Ry) left the room and I got in his face and said, "We're taking her to the city tonight, so you won't see her until tomorrow ok? Can you tell us BYE? BYE BYE! Come on! Deep breath and say BYE BYE" as I put my hand on his chest and helped move his lips. Nothing. Not even a deep breath to try. Jerk. Then it hit me! I took his face in my hands and looked him in the eye. "You are just ticked that we are taking her out for the night aren't you, and that's why you won't say bye?!"

That man started kicking and moving his arms like crazy (well, coma crazy), so we kissed him good-bye and hopped on a train!

Sushi

I ate sushi! Well, it was a California roll, so Hubs says it doesn't count, but it's on the sushi menu, and I didn't make a throw up face or have to use my epi pen, so I call it a success! Yay me! I'm a big kid now!

I could totally get use to Jersey!

This was a text I sent Hubs. His response was, "No. You can't." I had very specific, preconceived notions about what Jersey would be, but I was totally wrong. (This part) was BEAUTIFUL!! Adorable small town feel, delicious Jewish delis, GORGEOUS houses with a perfect view of NYC. LOVED it! Who knew?!

Do you love Jesus?

Yes. Yes I do. When we hopped off the train, we were trying to figure out the best way to get to the hotel. Ry suggested the subway, which I was fine with, but we were going to have to figure out the route to take. And we were staying at the Waldorf Astoria. I'm not sure too many people arrive at the W A via subway, so we splurged for a cab. Go ahead and picture an NYC cabbie. After the four girls pour ourselves into his cab, he pulls away from the curb and says,

"Are you gentiles?"

I've always read stories of martyrs who are asked if they believe in Jesus with a knife to their throat, and they say yes and then get killed, and I think, "I would totally do that. What better way to go." But honestly? Being in this cab, and opening with this question, scared the heck out of me. I immediately thought, "Thank goodness Ry's friend my new friend Ive was sitting in the front seat," followed by, "He's going to kill us. He's been waiting all day for some 'gentiles' to hop in his cab so he can push a button and kill us all!!!"

After laughing, uncomfortably for a second, I break the ice with, "Wow! Whatever happened to chatting about the weather?! Ha ha ha..." A few minutes into the ride, we realize that he is listening to the Bible on Tape. DOH! God wins again! However, I told my fellow riders, I was glad we had Jesus on our side because we almost met him before we could complete our three minute cab ride.

I'm not ready yet

NYC was great! We spent the day shopping, and here's a brief rundown of the purchases:

*Manolo Blahnik hot heels

* Burberry (not your classic plaid) wallet

* Burberry (not your classic) bag

* Coach clutch

* some clothes

What did I come home with? Some W A shampoo, conditioner, body lotion and a W A wine glass. Woo hoo!

When I got home Sunday, I figured it was the day to take June Bug's food and treats to the dogs at the Humane Society. We have a BEAUTIFUL H.S. They were super busy, but after I gave my donation (and didn't throw myself down on the floor screaming) I allowed myself to wander the dog hall. I did not go IN the kennel, but I saw about 9 pups. I looked in each of their baby eyes, and felt...nothing. They weren't mine. They weren't right for us. I just wasn't ready...yet.

I came home and went to toss the paper in the recycling bin and there was MORE dog food sitting in the garage. Ugh! She's everywhere! But packing up my pity party was the best thing I could do. It totally put things in perspective and was a welcomed get away after losing Bug.

Both kids (and Hubs) were fine without me. I did wonder if I'd come home to see them both in diapers (kids, not Hubs) with goldfish scattered in the basement and a benadryl haze in their eyes, but they were both dressed, clean and drug free, so woo hoo! Wonder where our next girls weekend will be...