Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Never thought I'd do/say/think/try this!

That about sums up my weekend! Like I said earlier, I packed up my pity party and headed to Jersey for a SUPER quick trip. And thus began my journey into doing/saying/thinking/trying new and different things. Starting with....

Airport Security
I am a seasoned traveler, and in no way get upset when flying. I do get a little worried now that I have kids because I don't want to die and leave them, but I think that just gives fuel to the fire to take someone OUT if they even looked like they were going to mess with my plane. I understand airport security and the reasons why we have to go through all the motions. Heck, I've even said I'd be totally fine if we all had to go into a room and put on special flying scrubs if that meant it was safer to fly. So the first thing I'd NEVER thought I'd think was "well this isn't comfortable" while going through the security measures.

Our airport has one of the fancy new x-ray machines. Totally open, clear booth and the screens are in a separate area, so I'm hoping pretty sure no one sees your insides. I go through the normal scanner and don't beep which was exciting because I had on this bra with an extra hook that's metal so you can change the straps around and I was worried it would set off the alarm. I'm then standing on the other end of the open xray staring at a very large man. We exchange an uneasy glance, and I say, "So, do I need to go through this, too?"

He looks me up and down for an awkward 11 seconds and says, "Yeah. Come on in." Um. Ew?

I then have to assume some spray tanning positions while a booth full of men stare at screens a few feet away, all the while, I'm reminding myself of the news story I watched when our airport got these and picturing myself looking like this:

Totally not me. I was not packin' heat. But you get the idea?! Little much for 8 am. right?! Well, apparently Security Dude (S.D) thought I was packin' something because I had to "Stand on the mat and DO NOT look behind you" (cue me looking over my shoulder), just as my flying buddy Beck was coming through the normal, no one sees your booty, scanner with a look of fear in her eyes. I asked what we were doing, and S.D. told me we were "waiting for a female attendant to thoroughly search me." Well fantastic. Can someone please upgrade me to business class now so I can get a drink. I learned during a post 9/11 flight back from NYC that airport security has no sense of humor, especially when feeling you up, so it's best to keep smart remarks to yourself, so I stood, not looking behind me, while we waited on my "date" to arrive.

While we waited, S.D. asked, again, if I had anything in my left front pocket. I dug around, and told him no, and offered to turn my pocket inside out. He declined my offer and when my date arrived, she rubbed my thigh and reached in my pocket, clearing me to go. I gathered my shoes, coat and carry on and did the walk of shame past the booth of googlie eyes who had just seen me naked. Awesome. (And I totally got us upgraded to business, just so you know).

I wish you would have been shot in the face.
Who thinks that, right? ME! The sole purpose of my visit was to see one of my college roomies who's husband has been fighting his way out of a coma since Feb. 2007. He was in a helicopter crash while serving as an army ranger, and if you saw the picture of the crash site, you'd be amazed that anyone made it out in one piece much less alive. The human brain is both amazing and fickle, and I'll pull my soap box out later, but for now I'll just say, comas suck. How is it, that a super strong, amazing man can have a head injury, look totally normal, but not be able to get out of this coma, and another person can have HALF of their brain shot out of their head, and WALK out of the hospital. So it was this visit where I looked at her Hubs and said, "Why couldn't you get shot in the head?!"

On a side note, he's ROCKING the Jersey treatment. His wife (Ry) left the room and I got in his face and said, "We're taking her to the city tonight, so you won't see her until tomorrow ok? Can you tell us BYE? BYE BYE! Come on! Deep breath and say BYE BYE" as I put my hand on his chest and helped move his lips. Nothing. Not even a deep breath to try. Jerk. Then it hit me! I took his face in my hands and looked him in the eye. "You are just ticked that we are taking her out for the night aren't you, and that's why you won't say bye?!"

That man started kicking and moving his arms like crazy (well, coma crazy), so we kissed him good-bye and hopped on a train!

I ate sushi! Well, it was a California roll, so Hubs says it doesn't count, but it's on the sushi menu, and I didn't make a throw up face or have to use my epi pen, so I call it a success! Yay me! I'm a big kid now!

I could totally get use to Jersey!
This was a text I sent Hubs. His response was, "No. You can't." I had very specific, preconceived notions about what Jersey would be, but I was totally wrong. (This part) was BEAUTIFUL!! Adorable small town feel, delicious Jewish delis, GORGEOUS houses with a perfect view of NYC. LOVED it! Who knew?!

Do you love Jesus?
Yes. Yes I do. When we hopped off the train, we were trying to figure out the best way to get to the hotel. Ry suggested the subway, which I was fine with, but we were going to have to figure out the route to take. And we were staying at the Waldorf Astoria. I'm not sure too many people arrive at the W A via subway, so we splurged for a cab. Go ahead and picture an NYC cabbie. After the four girls pour ourselves into his cab, he pulls away from the curb and says,

"Are you gentiles?"

I've always read stories of martyrs who are asked if they believe in Jesus with a knife to their throat, and they say yes and then get killed, and I think, "I would totally do that. What better way to go." But honestly? Being in this cab, and opening with this question, scared the heck out of me. I immediately thought, "Thank goodness Ry's friend my new friend Ive was sitting in the front seat," followed by, "He's going to kill us. He's been waiting all day for some 'gentiles' to hop in his cab so he can push a button and kill us all!!!"

After laughing, uncomfortably for a second, I break the ice with, "Wow! Whatever happened to chatting about the weather?! Ha ha ha..." A few minutes into the ride, we realize that he is listening to the Bible on Tape. DOH! God wins again! However, I told my fellow riders, I was glad we had Jesus on our side because we almost met him before we could complete our three minute cab ride.

I'm not ready yet
NYC was great! We spent the day shopping, and here's a brief rundown of the purchases:
*Manolo Blahnik hot heels
* Burberry (not your classic plaid) wallet
* Burberry (not your classic) bag
* Coach clutch
* some clothes

What did I come home with? Some W A shampoo, conditioner, body lotion and a W A wine glass. Woo hoo!

When I got home Sunday, I figured it was the day to take June Bug's food and treats to the dogs at the Humane Society. We have a BEAUTIFUL H.S. They were super busy, but after I gave my donation (and didn't throw myself down on the floor screaming) I allowed myself to wander the dog hall. I did not go IN the kennel, but I saw about 9 pups. I looked in each of their baby eyes, and felt...nothing. They weren't mine. They weren't right for us. I just wasn't ready...yet.

I came home and went to toss the paper in the recycling bin and there was MORE dog food sitting in the garage. Ugh! She's everywhere! But packing up my pity party was the best thing I could do. It totally put things in perspective and was a welcomed get away after losing Bug.

Both kids (and Hubs) were fine without me. I did wonder if I'd come home to see them both in diapers (kids, not Hubs) with goldfish scattered in the basement and a benadryl haze in their eyes, but they were both dressed, clean and drug free, so woo hoo! Wonder where our next girls weekend will be...

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